Got Little Stress

i dont know what should i do know.
for you to know, yeah. i hate this day SO MUCH. fuck and damn.
i dont know why. what i feeling? HOT, and ANGRY. Hate myself.
my mom promise with me if she will bought me some books whatever i want after i had my midtest exam on school. and i just say, "yeah."
and i waiting UNTIL 3 WEEKS.
and today i ask to my mom,
"mom, we can go to the bookstore today?". and she said yes.
BUT EVERYTHING WAS CHANGED!!!
on evening (5pm)..
"i'll take a bath" i said.
"but, you will go to the bookstore" said mom
"its too evening. why about 6 o'clock?" i answered.
"okay,"

at 6pm my mom and dad had a guest. i only silent.
after the guest come to his home at 7pm, i ask my mom how about me for going to the bookstore.
but she answered no. because mom and dad will had a little conversation with some neighbour.
WHAT?
SHOCKED!!
i was crying and said in my heart if i hate them.
AFTER I HAD UNTIL 3 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my dad ordered me to study at home.
and i said NO.
and he said if i always playing game today. and then he said, i havent study.
ITS SUNDAAAAAAAAAAYYYY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my heart answered it.

Dad, you always want me to be number one on school. i dont like it, you always want me to be a doctor, or a prefessional worker on my future.
he said, "for your beautiful future. you have to study"

I HATE IT.
i love art. i hate chemistry, physics, math, social lesson, and THE LESSONS WHO MAKE ME BORED!!!

everyday i got course. im so tired. and i want to go to bookstore mom. only bookstore, dad!!!
why i playing game? because im bored.
you dont know if i not well. im sick. you dont know, yeah? you dont know!!!

you NEVER ask to me "how are you?"
but i always ask it for you!!!

i want to change my life. and i know if i MORE than my friends.
i know it.
once again, I HATE MYSELF.
dad, mom, can you know me?
i'm fira, on may i will be a teenager.
Do you know it?
do you remember?
LETS CHECK ON MY BIRHTDAY.
do you remember or not. because i know if you not know me as well as i know you.
SORRY IF I SO WILD.

its me. im ugly, stupid, silly, wild, and whatever you said.
dad, mom. i want you to know about myself. only it. you cant burn all your promised to me.
it was a MANY MANY MANY MANY times you lie to me.
IM SO STRESS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


thanks for reading :)